Today I celebrate 60 years on this earth.  I graduated a year early in high school, so most all my childhood friends crossed this portal before me, but here I am! What an amazing journey this life continues to be, and I’m learning some great lessons along the way.  I thought I’d write some of them down as I reflect sitting here in the sunshine on January 1 by the ocean in Mexico.  And thank you, my dearest Warren, for making this birthday extra special with this trip!

In my experience, when you reach a certain age, you have to keep reminding yourself that you aren’t that young anymore - because it doesn’t seem possible that you are the age that your parents and grandparents were when you thought they were ancient.  I think it’s totally true that how you feel about your life and your perspective on the world is infinitely more important than the number of birthdays you’ve survived.  

• Pay attention to what’s around you, because most of us are sleepwalking through life.  (Technology and being online 24/7 unfortunately makes this worse).  Look people in the eye and be present to really see and hear their words and their thoughts. And, chances are pretty good that everything you need or want is already in your world.  You just need to get to the place in your heart and your head and your awareness, where you have the ability to actually see it.   

• Everyone has a story about their life that will break your heart, even those who seem to have it all, or who appear to just be mean - that didn’t come from nowhere. We all carry emotional wounds that may be buried deep inside - they make us who we are and make us behave in our habitual ways.  So we should all be just a little more kind and compassionate toward each other - as well as look inward and try to sort through things that are holding us back.

• We spend most of our time bouncing back and forth in our head between reliving the past or worrying about the future.  Stay right here and now - it’s the only place that’s real, anyway.

• Little things are little things.  Let them be that, and let them go.  As a matter of fact, most things are little things. 

• Sometimes the best thing you can do is to stop and just breathe.  So simple and re-sets your whole body.

• Find the thing in your life that lights you up when you think about doing it - and you will be great at it.

• People tend to show you who they are by their actions more than their words.  Pay attention to that - it’s a great indicator of future actions as well.

• People you care about will disappoint you in ways big and small - count on it.  It is what it is, and though it’s so hard NOT to take it personally, it just shows you a little more about who they are as a person.  It serves you to forgive them, because you carrying that anger and resentment is like re-living the hurtful event so they continue to hurt you again and again.  Even if the person at fault never shows remorse, you can still choose to let it go and move on.  Very liberating if you can do it, otherwise it can hinder you emotionally for your whole life if you let it.  

• You can fake most anything, but the real you is so much better.  Don’t be afraid to really show up and let yourself be seen.  You are unique….shine with that light that is yours and yours alone.

• Look at the things that scare or intimidate you and ask yourself if they are real threats or just noise in your head.  If you can get control of that noise, you can adopt a whole new mindset of possibility.

• If there’s something you feel in your heart you are here to do - go after it 100% and don’t let anyone talk you out of it.  Listen to your small voice inside that keeps nudging you on.

• Hindsight is a great lens.  So many times I’ve been bummed out about something big or small - and looked back later and saw how it was a bridge to something better, or a lesson I needed to learn to grow.

• Gratitude is a mindset worth cultivating.  Everyone has something to be grateful for.  Find some of those things and soon you’ll be finding more.

• We are all connected on the most basic level.  We all carry the essence of God, and both pain and joy of mankind as a whole can be felt universally.  You can’t hurt or lift up someone else without that action having the same affect on you.

• Happiness is a choice.  In the world in which most of us live, we are blessed with food, shelter and a safe environment - yet Americans are generally not as happy as so many in the world that have far less.  Our default behavior is to obsess over what we think is missing in our lives or constant comparison of ourselves to others.  I’ve been guilty of this, but it takes much less to make me happy these days, and making the choice to be happy has changed my life in a profound way. 

• My children are amazing human beings and I’m deeply proud of them both.  It’s very cool to watch as they evolve as adults.  Their personalities are quite different, yet alike in so many ways.  I look forward to the day I get to be their childrens’ grandma.  :-)   I’m so grateful as well for the rest of my family - my mom and my brothers and their families - and Warren’s dad and sister and our nieces - and all my extended family as well.  We people from the South get stereotyped a lot, but I couldn’t be more proud of where I come from.  My friends and family down there are what we call “good people,”  and while I differ from them ideologically in many ways, there are still deep roots that will be there forever. 

• It’s way too easy to fill up one’s time and get so busy, failing to make enough time for friends, fun and spontaneity.  Between Ironman training and work and other things I’ve taken on along the way, I’ve fallen into this trap for years.  I’m done making that choice and resolve to prioritize differently going forward.

• I recognized Warren as the love of my life pretty quickly after we met - which was by accident and the circumstances pointed toward fate.  After spending 32 years with him, I’m more in love with this special man than ever.  Marriage isn’t ever going to be perfect all the time - it’s often difficult and of course we’ve had our challenges - who hasn’t?  But he still makes me laugh every day. What else makes the relationship so special?…a strong friendship, mutual respect, faith in and support for each other and in our family.  It’s what grounds me and from where I draw much of my strength.

• I’ve chosen to be a triathlete and have pursued it somewhat obsessively over the past 20 or so years.  Coming from a totally non-athletic background, it taught me a lot about what I was capable of; about believing in myself; about my potential as a physical being and about mental toughness.  Of course at the end of the day, it’s just recreation at my level - but I would highly encourage anyone to find something that will challenge you enough to nudge you out of that comfort zone.  You are probably stronger than you think, mentally and physically - and experiencing personal breakthroughs is incredibly empowering and life-affirming.  I still enjoy the process of training and competing - and now learning how to be a better masters athlete.

• I once heard someone describe his life goal in this way, and it really resonated with me as a guiding principle… “To be a beneficial presence on the planet.”  Such remarkable opportunities to serve have come my way and it’s a huge blessing and privilege to continue this work in whatever form it takes in the future.  My contributions have been modest so far, but as Mother Teresa said, “not all of us can do great things, but we can all do small things with great love.”