"Fall seven times, get up eight."  - Japanese Proverb

I needed to let a few days pass after completing Ironman Canada in Whistler last weekend, so I could process the experience in my head. When you have a great race, it's easy to just bask in the accomplishment - but when you have a disappointing race day, it's helpful to step back and reflect on the lessons.

I can’t say enough good things about the race.  It takes place in one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been, with stunning mountain scenery, beautiful lakes and a community with Canadian charm.  The village of Whistler has seen its share of world-class athletic events, including the winter Olympics and Paralympics in 2010, and they know how to welcome and support athletes.  The volunteers were numerous, enthusiastic and extremely helpful. In my opinion, the race organization and execution was flawless.

I arrived on Wednesday evening before the race scheduled for Sunday.  Flying into Seattle seemed like a good idea when I was making plans, but it was a long drive through Bellingham and Vancouver and finally to Whistler. From Vancouver to Whistler, the route follows the Sea to Sky highway, and overlooks the Sound with breathtaking views.  Warren had business in Boston that week, so wasn’t flying in til Friday night, so I was on my own for a couple of days.

On Thursday, my Ironman Foundation teammates and I got together to do our community service project, going door-to-door with out “Knock Out Hunger” campaign to raise awareness and encourage donations to the Whistler Food Bank.  We also provided them with financial support to further assist their cause.  On Thursday night, we partnered with a local restaurant called CreekBread with a benefit fundraiser, and they were kind enough to donate $435 to the IRONMAN Foundation based on a percentage of their sales that evening.  We are very grateful for their support, and hope to plan a similar event for IRONMAN Canada in 2014.  I also have a ton of gratitude to my friends and family who supported me and helped me raise $2,510 for the IRONMAN Foundation’s work in Whistler and other communities who host IRONMAN races.  You guys really came through for me, and it means a lot!

Also on Thursday I went to see the Active Release Therapy(ART) guys at the Ironman Expo, to have some work done on a pesky glute/hamstring issue that had annoyed me most of the season.    

The weather was perfect the first couple of days, but had turned chilly and rainy on Friday, causing a bit of concern as to how dangerous it would be to have to ride the hills and technical turns of the bike course if the roads were wet, or if it was actually raining.  However, it did clear up late Saturday night - so the only negative result was dropping the temperature of the lake from about 72 on Friday to 65 degrees for race day.  No question about the race being wetsuit legal, which always puts my mind at ease.

On Saturday morning, we had a Team photo shoot, taking advantage of the amazing scenery of Whistler. 

Got a decent night’s sleep on Saturday night, then it was Race Day!  

Race Day:
I set the alarm for 3:30am so that I'd have time to eat 3 hours ahead of entering the water.   Warren had a VIP pass so he was able to ride the athlete bus with me to the lake and come into the transition area to pump my bike tires....which was wonderful - one less thing to stress over!  

The Swim:

The lake had a layer of fog/mist sitting on top of it, but it was very still and calm - unlike the very choppy waters I’d experienced when swimming there on Friday when it was very windy.  I was remarkably calm going into the water, more so than I’ve been for any of my other 7 Ironman races.  While I am still a slow swimmer, I’m usually no longer a frightened swimmer in open water.  I've come a long way there.

I positioned myself to the far right to stay away from the more aggressive swimmers who were closer to the buoys.  I entered the water to warm up about 15 minutes before we started, but soon I was getting cold and starting to shiver, so maybe that was too early.  When the gun went off, it was welcome relief to at least be moving more to generate more body heat.

The swim course is two loops in a rectangular shape, counterclockwise - total of 2.4 miles.  In the first loop, I felt like I was swimming ok, but not yet feeling all that great.  The way Ironman courses are set up, they conveniently number the buoys so you can always get an idea of where you are relative to the distance still left on that stretch.  My strategy is to swim one buoy at a time.  Right at the end of my first loop, I started seeing guys in blue swim caps flying past me - which were the professionals leading the race who had started 15 minutes before the age groupers.  It's always a little demoralizing to get "lapped," no matter what the circumstances.  But, as I started my second loop, I felt like I had found my rhythm and was sure I was swimming better and faster. 

I was also starting to get cold in the water late in the last lap, which happens sometimes since I’m out there in the water longer than most.  I came out of the water thinking I had had a decent swim, but glancing at my watch, was disappointed to see that I was at 1:44.  That’s 7 minutes slower than my fastest Ironman swim time in Arizona in 2011.   My goal had been to swim under 1:30. I learned later that I was #32 out of 36 in my age group after the swim. Geez! First low point of the day right there.

At Ironman races, they have “wetsuit strippers” - people waiting to rip your wetsuit off your body as you lay on the ground.  It’s great because you don’t have to struggle to get the “sausage suit” off by yourself.  Once my wetsuit was off, I headed to the women’s change tent, shivering and unable to feel my feet and hands.

Since the weather was chilly in the morning, I had decided to wear a swimsuit under my wetsuit and planned to quickly take it off and put on dry cycling shorts and a tri top and bike jersey, so as not to be even colder riding in wet clothes on the bike.  They have volunteers in the change tent to help the athletes get in and out of there in a hurry but unfortunately the kind volunteer who was helping me really didn’t have any idea how to help a triathlete and was kind of more "in my way" than helpful.  My hands were still numb which made getting swimsuit off and other clothes on a big challenge.  They were handing me cups of hot water to drink to warm up - seemed like a good idea at the time but drinking warm water is kinda icky.  My T1 time was a ridiculous 12+ minutes.  Right after I got on my bike I had to pull off for a minute or two to adjust my orthotic in my shoe....another couple of minutes wasted.  

Off to a rocky start already.  

The Bike:

The 112 mile bike course was a beast.  The good news is that it wasn’t raining, and for the time being, it wasn’t windy.  The course included over 4,300 feet of climbing, but the worst part was that the last 15 miles was almost all climbing, and there is typically a stiff headwind on that stretch.  So just when your legs are the most fatigued, you still have some of the most intense work remaining.  

The bike course started in Whistler and looped out to Callaghan Valley for lots of climbing, then back through Whistler and out the opposite direction toward the town of Pemberton, for lots more climbing before a nice stretch of flats for about 30 miles, but then back to the gnarly hills to get back home to Whistler.  

I knew the ride was hilly, but I underestimated the difficulty and the toll it would take on my legs, and the nutrition that would be needed to put forth that kind of effort.  I also somehow lost all my salt tabs from my bike Bento bag, which I was counting on to help me absorb my nutrition I had brought along. But not so tragic, as I was able to supplement the nutrition I had brought along with more from the aid stations.  Fortunately it didn’t cause any GI issues.  Many athletes in an Ironman race will pee in their shorts so they don’t have to stop at a porta-john.  This was the first Ironman I’ve done that I did NOT do this.  I actually stopped to take care of business at the halfway point of the bike.  Not sure why....I guess I figured I’d lost so much time already, might as well take a minute to keep my shorts dry and be more comfortable the last 56 miles.  And maybe I wouldn't get all chafed this time.  

I had hoped to ride this bike course around 6 hours 30 minutes - but it took me 7 hours 24 minutes.   I feel like I could have maybe gone 7:15, had it not been for a really annoying ocular migraine that kicked in with about 10 miles left to ride.   I’ve had these several times in long races, near the end of the bike ride - apparently due to the sun.  If you’ve never had one, it’s not usually painful, but changes your vision to where you see wavy lines, double images and can’t make out detail well.  So, I was having trouble seeing the lines or other markings on the road and where there might be potholes, etc.  My strategy was to stay behind other cyclists and trust that they were taking a line that was safe and obstacle-free.  Though I was feeling stronger in the last few miles of the bike, I didn't feel comfortable passing because I needed someone to “chart the course” for me on the road so I could follow. Very annoying!  Fortunately the situation eased off after I started running and my vision cleared up.

At the end of the bike, I had moved up to #23 in my age group.  Small victory. :-)

The Run:

Dashed into T2, pulled off the bike shorts, pulled on the tri shorts, zipped OFF the bike jersey I wore over my tri top, grabbed hat, changed shoes, hit the portajohn.  Off to run but I was anything but smooth and flying.

A hard bike ride takes a lot out of one’s legs. The run course was 2 loops of rolling hills on dirt paths, asphalt paths and a few brick/concrete stretches.  We had been told to watch out for bears.  (yes, really!  black bears - adorable!)  Warren said that when I headed out to run, I didn’t look so great.  I didn’t feel so great.  But typically I start to feel better as the miles go by, so I was hopeful it would get better.  It did, but it took more miles than usual for that to happen.  I started out running a 9 minute mile which eroded into 10 then 11 minute miles.  My problematic glute/hamstring that had been troubling for a few months had been stressed for sure on the bike and was definitely sore, but it was manageable so far.  I took a few Advil when I reached the 13 mile point -(yes, I know, ibuprophen is ill-advised when racing....) and that helped take the edge off, allowing me to relax into getting a more fluid stride and pick up the cadence.   
Five or six times during the day, I’d take a step on one leg or the other and find it to be completely numb due to a random nerve being out of whack - but a couple of steps later it was fine.  It’s a wierd thing that comes and goes when I’m running long - I was just hoping not to fall down in the process.

The crowd support on the run was amazing!  Saw lots of familiar faces - both athletes and friends cheering on the course.  Our friends Josh and Lisa had driven up from Vancouver to watch the race and Josh ran along with me for a short stretch - he has one of the most outgoing, outrageous and fun personalities of anyone I know - and he gave me a huge boost when I was feeling lousy out there - thanks Josh!  

Warren was riding all around the bike course on a mountain bike borrowed from Josh, so he kept appearing all over the place, which I really looked forward to.  Having lost all my salt tabs I’d planned to use on the bike, I quickly went through the salt tabs I’d planned for the run - so Warren quickly biked all the way back to the condo to get me more - then met me on the run course to give them to me.  To say that he was “there for me” and “incredibly helpful and supportive”  doesn’t do justice to how awesome he was as my support team that day and all the months, weeks and days leading up to the race.  I love ya, Babe!  

I had hoped for a daylight finish, but with my dismal swim and bike splits, that wasn’t possible.  On the positive side, I finally found my run groove by mile 19 or 20 and I found myself smiling and totally loving life.  In fact, the last miles of my race were my quickest.  Maybe I should look in to ultra marathons....  

My final finish time was 14:33:28, 16th in my age group.  So I picked up another 7 places on the run.   Another small victory.

I did Ironman Canada in Penticton 5 years ago with a time that was very mediocre.  I finished my race this year in Whistler in a time that is only 4 minutes faster.  I believe this bike course was more challenging than Penticton, and others seem to agree.  Whistler is a race of strength and power; once again my performance indicates that I am still short on both, and that endurance alone isn’t enough to do well especially on a course like this one.  Tim Reed said that "you rarely see Ironman athletes that are built like marathoners bike well." Racing now with a 58-year old body, that becomes even more true for me, as building and keeping a strong muscular body gets even harder every year. But yet, it gets more important each year as well.

The Lessons:

1 - I read that if your "off-the-bike" run is not close to your straight run performance, then the problem is usually that you aren't strong enough on the bike, specifically muscular endurance. 

2 - I didn't do enough of the right kind of bike training.  I should have done more long rides, and lots of riding with tons of climbing.  So, my training should be more customized to the course I'll be racing.  I don't really enjoy riding all that much, so I tend to do the minimum of what is required, and certainly didn't do any extra riding just for fun.  I need to commit mentally as well as physically to training on the bike, and maybe consider training with a Powermeter.  I have a computrainer, but training outdoors would be optimal with power.

3 - I wasn't as mentally strong as I should have been on the bike.  I caved in and panicked a bit knowing that things weren't going as planned, and there was so much of the day left.  I was able to re-group mentally, but had to do it many times during the ride and run.  Next time, I need to be more present to do what I can with the power of the present moment.

4 - It's possible to bounce back after things have gone south in a race, even if it's in the last 5 miles.  Never give up hope that this will happen, and that I WILL get through this.

5 - I live to race another day.  With each passing day after this race, I was mentally beating myself up a little more.  I even went through a discussion in my head that this was my last triathlon ever.  ("Maybe I'll just be a runner, since that's the part of training and racing that I always enjoy.  My cycling and swimming still need tons of work and I'm so bored with them...")  But then I kind of got over myself, and just let this race be what it was.  I reminded myself that an Ironman finish is something to be proud of, even if it's not your fastest ever. And I've learned so much on this journey of becoming a triathlete, especially an Ironman triathlete - certainly I'm not done with the journey yet.  

I'm now done with my disappointment tantrum.  I have even swam several times in the past two weeks - without a race on the calendar to give me incentive for doing it.  I just love the water(belief fosters reality, right?). :-) 

Boulder Peaking

Every year when I am crafting my race calendar, it's hard not to include the Boulder Peak Triathlon.  It's a great hometown tradition, Olympic distance(1500m swim, 40K bike and 10K run).  This year I competed for the 7th time.  Today I pulled up my finish times since I first raced it in 2003, and noted that with a finish time of 3:16:03 that year, I've improved my go at this course by at least 20 minutes in recent years.  Training with consistency and focus does seem to lead to improvement. :-)  Hmmm.

My slowest swim there was in 03 - a ridiculous 47:26 for 1500 meters, and my best is 35:20, which was last year.  Still way slower than most of you triathletes and light years slower than you swimmers.  However, the days of those 47 minute swims for me often included multiple panic attacks, holding on to rescue watercraft and/or moments spent treading water while I tried to re-group and calm myself.  If you've had open water fear, I totally know where you're coming from.  My advice is to learn how to manage your head in the water, because chances are your body would be just fine if you could just calm the panic voices between your ears.  You gotta just keep putting yourself out there.  It does get easier if you just stick with it, promise. 

So a quick recap of the day yesterday, the 2013 Boulder Peak.  This was a "B" race for me, and I was out to have a good strong training day and see where I am with regard to training on the way to Ironman Canada Whistler in late August.  And a decent finish place in my age group would be nice too.

Swim:  new self-seeding rolling swim start means you place yourself in the starting group of swimmers who will be swimming about your same speed.  I thought I would like this, since for me when age groups start together regardless of their swim ability, it's always a matter of time before the next wave of swimmers catches up to me.  Often it's an age group with lots of male aggressive swimmers, who have no problem just swimming right over top of you or throwing you an elbow or a kick.  Not a fun scenario. So this swim start scenario was better, but it was quite congested the whole way, with swimmers who were both slower and faster than me.  Lots of them seemed to be swimming zigzag patterns, so hard to get a rhythm in the first half of the swim.  My swim time was about 30 seconds slower than last year, but I was feeling like I was swimming pretty smooth and strong and I was hoping that it would be faster.  Oh well - that's kind of my pattern...THINKING I'm swimming well but at the end the clock says "nay nay."

On my way up Old Stage hill

Bike: the dreaded climb up Old Stage hill is the trademark of Boulder Peak Triathlon.  It's a 600’ vertical climb in 2/3 of a mile, a 15% grade. Brutal.  I had only climbed it a few times this year, and was wishing a few days earlier than I'd done  it a couple more. Anyway, there was tons of support from friends lining the road going up, and that ALWAYS helps the effort.  Honestly, I'd much rather be climbing than descending, so the 35-40mph flying down the other side scares me a LOT more than the killer climb up.  Tried to do minimal braking on the way down, and really enjoyed the rest of the bike ride.  If you want to get an idea of what it's like to go up and over Old Stage hill on a bike, check out this video:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btLTxM0CZoc  

Run: my instructions from my coach Tim Reed were to try to negatively split the run.  Epic fail on this unfortunately.  First mile was 8:11, second mile was 8:20 and miles 3,4 and 5 must have been slower, based on my average mile split of 8:46.   I walked through a couple of aid stations so I lost some time there, but I do know that mile 6 was quicker again as I focused only on quick turnover and trying to keep my form as perfect as possible.  (if you've seen me run, you know my form is FAR from perfect, so perfect being a relative term.) At least it was something to think about to keep my mind off how uncomfortable I was.

Finish: Crossed the finish line with little left in the tank, but recovered and felt decent within a few minutes.  Headed straight from the finish line to the massage tent and got in line for some relief on my very sore glute area.  The massage guy spent a lot of time working on me and I felt much much better after the massage.  A massage every week would be the ultimate luxury!

Just like last year, I finished 4th in my age group, a minute and a half behind 3rd place, just off the podium.  The number 3 girl swam 3 & 1/2 minutes quicker than me, and I was 3 & 1/2 minutes quicker than her on the bike - so that would have put us even.  It came down to transition times and the run - all these times were close but this day I came up a little short.   

Lessons learned: 

1. Every minute, every second counts especially in shorter races such as this.
2. My bike to run transition is pretty good, but swim to bike transition is really pretty lousy.  Much room for improvement there and of course it's the easiest way to improve your finish time.  
3. Boulder Peak would have been NOT wetsuit legal had it been held one day earlier.  A storm moving through the night before cooled the water down just enough to make the wetsuit cutoff, so that they were allowed.  Since my one and only triathlon where I did not wear a wetsuit was in warm comfy salt water where I was very boyant, I need to be solidly mentally prepared for the possibility of swimming "naked" (that is, without a wetsuit) at my next race, Boulder 70.3 - and at every race, really.  I've been awfully lucky with this so far, but it's inevitable.

Thanks for reading!

Flying Monkeys in Kansas...Oh My!

Last weekend I headed east to Lawrence KS for the Ironman Kansas 70.3 triathlon. Warren and I had done this race in 2008.  He's not currently racing and had been on the road way too much lately, so he wasn't making the long trip with me. I headed out at 6:30 on Friday morning, ready to entertain myself for eight and a half hours.  I had Sirius radio and, loaded into my iPhone, an audio book about the hurricane that devastated Galveston and killed thousands of people back in 1900.  So off I went to find Dorothy and her friends on the Yellow Brick Road.

My goal was just to have a better experience and outcome than at my last race in early April, Ironman Texas 70.3 in Galveston.  There, I struggled a lot on the run and came in a disappointing 7th place in my age group. Despite having a nasty cold that hung on for weeks in May, training had started to feel better the past few weeks, so this was going to be a fair gauge of my fitness on the journey to Ironman Canada Whistler in August.

Last year's IM KS was hot, windy and not wetsuit legal.  The day before the race this year, as we checked in, the weather was exactly that again - but the good news was that the water temperature was 72.  A storm was expected to pass through overnight which typically cools the water off even more.  For those of you who don't know, athletes are allowed to wear wetsuits in the swim of a triathlon as long as the water is 76.1 degrees or cooler.  Wetsuits, of course, help keep you warm in the water, and provide buoyancy which makes swimming much easier and faster. For swimmers like me, wetsuits are a good thing, so I was happy to hear that we would be wearing them.  Temperatures predicted to be mid-high 80's, and of course there would be wind - but hopefully not too severe and gusty.

Pam, Nicole, Liz and Khem - IMF/NR Team represents!

Three of my teammates on the Ironman Foundation Newton Running Ambassador Team were racing and/or working at the race, so I was looking forward to connecting with them.  One of them who wasn't racing, Liz Kollar, was kind enough to offer me her race wheels to borrow, and not having any of my own, I took her up on it.  Having a bike with 650c wheels presents some limitations on equipment, and I have thought a few times about a new bike with 700c wheels ... but my beloved bike Bella Blue just fits me and it's comfortable so going to stick with it for at least another year.

Crowie sharing wisdom pre-race.

The day before the race, Ironman hosted a lunch for the Teams who were competing in the race.  Craig Alexander and another professional Emma-Kate Lidbury(who both won the race the next day) came by to speak and offered photo opps.  One interesting thing I took away from Crowie's talk was his response to the question about what's in his head when he's racing.  He said Greg Welch shared this with him: asking yourself "who are you?"  That resonated with me, and in my mind it brings up deep questions about:

• who you are as a person
• why you are a triathlete
• how this sport takes precious time away from being with people you care about yet can be a powerful way to set a positive example of what's possible
• how to bring forth the best in yourself on race day and in life
• gratitude for good health and strong body, and friends to share the sport with
• ....all reflected as "who you are" in the lens of the day's race conditions and circumstances .

Here are the highlights:
Pre-Race:  Due to the predicted storm the night before the race, with possible high winds and hail, we had the option of either dropping our bikes off the day before OR race day.  I chose to drop mine on race day, imagining arriving race morning with all the bikes blown off the racks in a heap of wheels and gears.  It was breezy and still misting a little when we arrived that morning at 5am and there were big puddles in the grass in the transition areas.  I felt like I had made the right decision about not dropping my bike off the day before.  There were two separate transition areas in this race, half a mile apart - so getting everything set up and ready to go took a little extra time.  Before the race, saw  my friends Jim and Pam Buderus, and it would be the only time I saw them all weekend.  I was hoping to catch up with you guys more, sorry to miss you!

I'm #308, first bike on rack right by swim start.

Swim:  I was in the 2nd age group wave.  The water was really choppy because of the wind from the storm.  But the temperature was nice, and I was surprisingly calm. (I'm often not before a triathlon swim)  The course was a long rectangle, and I noticed that they had numbers on the buoys which was convenient.  Eight orange buoys, then a red buoy at the turn point, then swim to the next red buoy and turn again, then eight orange buoys to take you back to the swim finish.  Easy peasy. So my goal this swim was to take a straighter line instead of staying wider to avoid other swimmers who inevitably ended up swimming on top of me. I was trying to be more brave and to better claim my space in the water.  As a result, yep, I got swam over and banged around lot more.  But I just kept going.  After all, I was in a wetsuit, which meant that I'd probably stay on top of the water no matter what.  And I thought I was swimming pretty well.  Actually, my swim time was almost exactly the same as I'd swam in Galveston in April, and much slower than my fastest half Ironman swim time in 2010.  I came out of the water in 48 minutes and was pretty disappointed about the time. But... swim was over and I had to let it go and move on to the bike.

Bike:  This was a very hilly course that was usually windy as well.  However, the first couple of hours on the bike, the wind was there but manageable. As a light rider on a small bike, I get blown around a lot when it's windy.  I've learned that managing the wind is as much mental as it is physical, and have taken advice I heard from Mark Allen to imagine yourself as swiss cheese and let the wind blow through you.  It helps me, and is quite opposite from the way I used to try to mentally and physically fight the wind.  (but I still don't really enjoy riding in the wind)  So in the last hour, the wind picked up a lot, and at the end of 56 miles, I was happy to be getting off Bella Blue to go run my 13.1 miles.

Run: When I got off my bike in the Galveston race after riding into big head winds the last 15 miles, my legs were toast.  I pushed way too hard through the winds and had not trained sufficiently to put that type of effort forward - and I paid dearly with a miserable run in that race. This time I tried to stay more within myself on the bike ride, while still maintaining a good effort.  As a result, the run felt a lot better....yet still not great and certainly not as good as I've felt on the run in some other races.  Haven't cracked why I'm not feeling the run these days.  Started to come good a little more in the last half of the half-marathon but then felt like I was on the edge of cramping big the last three miles.  Took some salt tabs but it was too little too late as it didn't really help the feeling. A friend, Michele Van Pelt, came past me right at the 13 mile mark and I started to find that gear to go with her, but in the interest of avoiding a seizure cramping episode right at the finish line, I ended up letting her go and came in a few seconds later...fortunately with no cramp seizure in the finish line picture.

Wrapup:
My finish time put me 6th in my age group, and my time was significantly faster than the last time I did this race five years ago.  So even though I had hoped to finish faster and higher in my age group, the fact that I significantly improved my time in all three disciplines is something to feel good about.  I will continue to work on the areas of my game that aren't where they need to be (specifically, my swim, my bike and my run, as well as my strength and my nutrition - so "all of it") under the guidance of my coach Tim Reed.  He challenges me to approach both training and racing thoughtfully and analytically, yet reminds me also that at the end of the day it's just a sport, and not to forget to enjoy it regardless of the outcome.  

Morning view from my 4-star Tent Accommodations 

Instead of driving home after the race, I decided to take my friends' offer of pitching a tent in the grass on their campsite and sleeping under the stars before heading out for the long drive home early Monday morning.  It was beautiful!  I zipped the tent up tight and tried not to think about that huge dead snake I'd seen on road on the bike course and how snakes like to slither around in the grass...yikes!   Thanks Don and Mike Orr for the campsite hospitality.   It was also fun hanging out with James Hadley, a pro from Boulder who came third in that race - who stopped by the campsite for a beer or two that afternoon.  

Oh, and the flying monkeys that struck such fear in my young life, watching The Wizard of Oz on tv?  They apparently took the day off.  

Happiness

I just returned from yoga class tonight, where the teacher spoke about happiness, a food-for-thought topic that's been making its way into my life as a common thread recently.

I heard a review of a book called "Shift Happens" that sounded interesting, so I downloaded the audio book.  To summarize, it's about how we all start life as perfect, innocent, unscarred souls, but as our lives progress, we inevitably experience negative experiences and emotions such as rejection, disappointment, heartache, anger, or feeling unworthy or unloved.  We develop mental and emotional wounds and scars, some that we are aware of and some that lie deep in our unconscious minds.  These  drive our emotions and our behavior, and mold our self-concept and our self-confidence.  We create a list of limiting beliefs that will be used to tell ourselves what we can and cannot do.  This list usually lasts for life.  

No one is immune to the bumps and bruises of life.  We all struggle with managing our ego that emerges to try to protect us from further pain.  But that ego often works against you.

The "shift" described in the book is about letting all that emotional and mental stuff be in the past - and really living in the present.   Can one really do this?  He presents a good logical and practical argument around the fact that thoughts aren't real.  They are electrical impulses in our heads; they come and go; and that they don't have to define us.  You can learn to recognize negative thoughts, see them for what they are, then choose new ones.   

It's also about choosing happiness, for no good reason. Most of us have conditions in our heads that we will be happy when we...

• a) find our perfect partner
• b) get that perfect job
• c) lose those last 10 pounds
• d) finally get that dream house or car
• e) win our age group in a race, or score that Kona slot
• f) .....fill in the blank....

And of course there's nothing wrong with striving for goals or focusing on excellence in your life.  The fallacy comes when you think that these things are the key to making you happy.  Once you achieve the goal, you enjoy it for a little while, then that emptiness that made you want it in the first place creeps back and you start focusing on the next thing to make you happy.  It's a vicious circle that can follow you your whole life, and make you wonder why you never feel completely whole or satisfied.  The truth is, real and long-term happiness is found inside yourself, not from an external source. 

People who are "achievers" often enjoy the experience of being very independent and self-reliant.  Yet, as humans, we are all connected  on a spiritual level, and share a collective consciousness.  Nothing happens in the world that is in isolation - the Butterfly Effect if you will.  Humans are wired to need each other, though our egos are quick to step in to encourage us to judge and compete with our fellow man.  That independent achiever personality mentioned above may fail to recognize his innate connection with other humans and cut himself off from meaningful relationships in his life, sadly never figuring out what was really standing between him and true happiness in his life.

Just like everyone in the world, I have negative stuff in my head I need to let go.  I'm sure it's an ongoing life-long process of reminding oneself what's important and what's not.  But I definitely see the power in the process.

As an athlete, it's helped me shift my attitude of doing workouts because they were on the schedule and I needed to "get them done" to really trying to be present in the workout and finding joy in the movement and the water/road/trail.   Thoughts are in my head.  They aren't all going to be great, but the ones that aren't, I can choose to let them go and try to find some better ones.   

As a competitive athlete, this perspective leads me to a place of wanting to do my best, but wanting my competition to do their best as well. I understand the common bond of a kindred spirit that I have with every triathlete who shows up on race day, and that they have worked hard to prepare as have I.   I know that the energy you send out to others comes back to you at some point.  I have so many examples of this in my life. It's also about letting go of the limiting beliefs that I have held about myself. In racing, I have learned that my mind will try to give up before my body must give up.  So, the power is in managing those rogue thoughts.

Our Team focus is on giving back at Ironman races, and the Hawaiian word "Kokua" reflects this concept for our Team.  So far, I have only met a few of the 43 athletes on our Team, but I do know that the Kokua spirit runs deep.  The commitment I see in their training and racing this year, the passion they bring to our online conversations, and the stories which have brought us all together tell me a lot about each of them as a person.  

Wishing you happiness.

A Mother's Day Story

Patricia McIntyre first became a mother when I was born on January 1, two weeks past my due date, essentially cheating my parents of a prior year tax deduction.  You think that at least they’d have a shot at those “first baby of the New Year” honors since I arrived at 12:10.  Nope, that’s 12:10 PM; way too late to the party.

My mom was only 18 when I came along.  She and my dad had gotten married the year before when she was a high school junior. In today’s world of equal gender opportunity and kids off on international backpack trips as high schoolers and college students, early marriage and family is rarely a choice made in high school anymore.  However, the culture of the small Southern town of my family back in the day, it’s what most of the girls did. My dad was a handsome firefighter 5 years her senior, and they were an adorable couple.  At her high school graduation, she was already expecting me, and they were on their way to  living the American dream.  

As I grew up, my friends always thought my mom looked so pretty and young, and that’s because she was!  My two brothers arrived three and eight years after me.  Except for a year in Oklahoma so that my dad could finish his bachelor’s degree  - we grew up in North Carolina.  My parents were great role models, both worked hard, and taught us to do the same.  We were Southern Baptists, and conservative values were front and center.   

In my mother’s footsteps, I was drawn to a nice conservative guy in college who wanted to settle down, and got married in the Baptist Church just a few days shy of my 21st birthday. Unfortunately it never occurred to me to first figure out who I was as a person and what I wanted out of life before becoming a wife.  I just went into marriage on autopilot that first time, and in just a couple of years, realized it had been a mistake.  I know my parents really didn’t understand why that marriage didn’t work for me - but I do remember so well that my mom was rock solid there for me, supporting me even though she couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t happy.  So many times in my life, I’m certain that my mom  didn’t understand my choices or my path, but I could always depend on her love and her belief in me - and lean on her unwavering support.  She’s that same unwavering support for everyone in my family.

My teenage years had their moments of frustration for both me and my mom.  In the big picture, nothing too severe or radical, but I tested some limits.  My parents were super strict with me as a girl, while my brothers had a lot fewer restrictions.  This infuriated me at the time, though later as the parent of a son and a daughter, I understood the greater potential for bad things happening to girls and made the same protective decisions with my daughter and son.  

My mom taught me how to sew, and she made most all my clothes growing up, and I made a lot of my daughter’s clothes when she was little too.  My mom and I used to love to spend hours in the fabric shop, buying pattern and fabric and then going home to sew.  It was a real bonding  time for us.  Every Southern girl must have a pretty Easter frock every year, and my mom made me some beauties!   She also sewed my prom dresses and all the other special occasion outfits.  

Vacations were spent camping, often with extended family, and often at the beaches on North and South Carolina.  Most of my whole family was in the same town, so we got to know our grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. My parents were very frugal, and my mom worked as the secretary at my high school - most of that money going for our college educations.  What a gift our parents gave us...my brothers and I didn’t have to get student loans to go to college, because it was a priority that my parents planned for for years.  We worked for our spending money, but our room/board/tuition was taken care of -all we had to do was study.  I remember when I went off to college as a freshman and was clearly focused more on playing than academics.  There was no mistaking that when my grades came and I received the full wrath of my parents‘ disappointment.  My options were to turn it around immediately, or come home and get a job.  I became a great student, shot up to Deans List and even continued for a Master’s Degree.  All because my parents gave me enough rope to hang myself then let me pick up the pieces and learn the life lessons.

My dad developed some serious health problems later in his life, and it was my mother who was his strength through heart attacks, diabetes and cancer.  She had a no nonsense manner of taking bad news, or a bad day - and redirecting my dad and everyone to a place of hope and solace.  She helped to bring my dad to a place of deeper faith.  My dad wasn’t one of those people who was naturally positive and full of sunshine all the time - but my mom has a beautiful way about her that makes you feel better just being around her.  The deep bond between my parents in the last couple of years before my dad passed away is something that I recognize as love in its purest form.

My mom is a huge inspiration to me, and a role model of unselfish love and compassion.  Mother’s Day is a great time to celebrate how special she is, and to let her know how much she is deeply loved by her family and friends.

Patricia McIntyre, you’re amazing, you’re beautiful -  and I’m so proud to be your daughter.

A couple of days off is good, right?

Now that we have an empty nest, we like to open our home to international professional triathletes for homestays when they come to train in Boulder.  So far we have hosted Aussie triathletes Tim Reed, Tim Van Berkel, Lisa Marangon, and Aussie professional mountain biker Josh Carlson.  We've also hosted American triathlete Jenna Parker and 2004 Ironman Hawaii champion, German Faris Al-Sultan. It's a lot of fun getting to know them - and you really come to appreciate that the life of a professional athlete is not easy!  And we also enjoy having a live-in housesitter/dogsitter so that we can travel to warm sunny places like California when the weather is sucking here, as it sure has been lately.

Tim Van Berkel has been with us for the past 6 weeks - and certainly it isn't the training block he anticipated in the springtime.  Three snowstorms in three weeks, and generally chilly temperatures were not really what he signed up for, I'm sure.

Tim left today to return to Oz, and I'm sure he's ready to get home.  He came down with a wicked cold earlier in the week, and of course, now Warren and I have it.  I really hate being sick, and even more so when it comes with a severe cough.  My abs are sore from coughing my brains out last night.  I guess if there's a silver lining, that's it.....who knew that coughing is a core workout?!  :-)

Warren insisted that we go to the doctor today, so we at least got some drugs that ease the annoying headache a bit.  I'm spinning these days off in my head as "I am often overtired and overtrained but keep pushing through...this is my body's way of telling me take care of it."  After all, if my immune system were rock solid I wouldn't have gotten sick in the first place, right?

So I'm going back in my head to that relaxed state of bliss after my post-race massage in Kona a couple of years ago.

ZZZZ....

Reviving the Blog! - Catching up....

As life has continued to get busier, my blog has sat lonely and mute.  My last post was after Ironman Arizona in November 2011.  A painful character-building day where I completely blew up on the run and brought home a finish time much slower than I had hoped for...but the good news was I managed a podium finish with an AG 3rd place.  Sometimes you still catch a break when you least expect it.

2012 brought another busy year of life and racing.  With a 2 week trip to Australia in the spring, hosting several international triathletes in our home and feeling a little frazzled by the busy pace of life, my husband Warren and I decided we’d take a break from Ironman racing.  I wavered between missing the feeling being very fit and of working in a disciplined manner toward an Ironman goal race, and the feeling of enjoying not having that big training burden hovering overhead.  It was a good year of racing shorter events, with a couple of 70.3’s thrown in just to enjoy the distance.

The Baker’s Team Era

As a member of the Erin Baker’s Triathlon Team for the past 4 years, I had the opportunity to represent a great company and be associated with a wonderful and talented group of athletes.  The Baker’s team mission includes a strong “give back” directive, and its athletes raised money for different chapters of the Boys and Girls Clubs of America. The Club I chose to fundraise for was our local club in Fort Collins.  I helped organize a special “Day for Kids” event, and recruited college students from the triathlon clubs at Colorado State and University of CO to volunteer that day. The college kids seemed to enjoy the experience as much as the little kids! I got to visit the Clubs on several occasions and interact with the kids and the staff.  It was such a pleasure to be able to help them financially and to see the money help them in their work that is so important to families and communities.

Newest Chapter begins!

This year I am thrilled to get the opportunity to join and help manage the new Ironman Foundation/Newton Running Ambassador Team. I just love the idea of making my triathlon effort and experience about something bigger than just me and my athlete ego.    I’ve found that triathletes are generally fun people who get that life can and should be an adventure. I love that us mere mortals share the course with the triathlon gods and goddesses and that we understand the journey we share.   Triathlon training is both time-intensive and energy-intensive, and Ironman training can be close to all-consuming, especially when placed on top of a busy work schedule.  I’ve found that after crossing over to the sunny side of 50 years old(that’s my spin and I’m sticking with it!), it’s not as easy as it used to be to crank out lots of training miles and yards on land, wheels and water - and be able to bounce back the next day ready for more.  Mental and physical recovery is as important as any training done. I’m FINALLY learning to respect this fact, so I’m becoming less likely to toast myself day after day even though I’m feeling run down, or skimp on sleep by staying up til midnight working.

My coach is Tim Reed, a young Australian professional triathlete who first did a homestay with us back in 2010.  He is quite a student of the sport, and wisely advises me on all things triathlon and talks me down from the proverbial ledge when I lose sight of reason and take myself too seriously.

First Race of the Season

My first race of the season was Ironman Texas 70.3 in Galveston Texas, last weekend. The whole trip to TX is a long sad one; here’s the condensed version.

I was looking forward to spending it with my daughter....had a couple of business meetings planned, but it was to be a girls’ road trip weekend, hanging out and having fun and me racing.  

However, things didn’t go at all as planned..

Thursday: flew to Austin, stayed overnight with daughter Erica

Friday: customer meeting in Austin; then drove with Erica to Texas City between Houston and Galveston.  Dinner with E that night, laughs looking at Facebook posts on my iPad.

Saturday: 2:30am call from hotel management informs us that E’s car was among many that had been broken into in hotels around the area.  Window smashed, Erica hysterical, big mess.  TX City Police reports, general mayhem for a couple of hours. Back to sleep for maybe an hour eventually. Woke up tired and stressed.

Off to the race site to check in and pick up my bike from TriBikeTransport.  Quick 45 minute ride to check out the bike. 
Took a look at the water; calm and nice.  Swimming can be a source of anxiety for me, but this looked just fine.

Drove back to Texas City, then drove an hour to have Erica's car window replaced. 
I had realized Saturday morning that I had left my iPad in the car, so it of course had been stolen. Another call to police to amend report.  Realized I could track my iPad using the Track my iPhone app, and found it on GPS two hours north of where we were.  Reported it to TX City Police, who said it wasn’t their jurisdiction, and that I should report to Houston PD.  Reported to Houston PD, but they said it wasn’t their jurisdiction, should report to Harris County Sheriff.  Reported to Harris County, who said we had to drive up there to meet with the deputy and show him the tracking.  We did that.  The deputy knocked on the door of the house where the iPad was, the resident denied having it - and the officer had no authority to take it any further.  He could not enter without a search warrant, which, of course, you couldn’t get til Monday from a judge.  Of course by then, the iPad would be long gone somewhere else. The whole thing just seems so wrong. What good is knowing where it is if you can’t get it?

So, knowing I’d never see it again, I remotely wiped the iPad clean and digitally kissed it goodbye.  The good news is that AT&T was able to blacklist the iPad as stolen, and make it so that if anyone ever tries to set up a data plan on it, it will flag law enforcement. 

Saturday evening: returned to Texas City, grabbed a sandwich(oops, realized we never got around to lunch) and started gathering up my things to race the next day. Off to bed way too late, then too wired to sleep. Oh, yeah, and what’s with this cough that started on Friday?  Nope, not thinking about that anymore.

Sunday: Race Day  3:30am wakeup, off to the race at 5:00; feeling a bit tired but adrenaline is kicking in.  Feeling like I can do this after all.

• Swim:  I’m in the first AG wave at 7:10.  Wetsuit swim in the bay at 65 degrees. Swim feels relatively low stress until the waves behind me start to catch up and swim over top of me.  I start taking a wider path to avoid aggressive traffic, and of course, time lost.  Swim time slower than even my usual slow swim.  Shake it off and move on. Heading toward T1, a volunteer directs me down wrong lane even I had a feeling it was wrong.  Lost a minute or so looking for spot. Off on the bike.
• Bike: An out and back relatively flat course paralleling the shore on Galveston Island. Historically quite windy.  I was holding a decent mph the first 40 miles, but stiff headwind appeared the last 16 and made for tough going in last long stretch.  Pushed through harder and adjusted body position on bike to use some different muscles - a decision my body punished me for on the run. Possibly not enough calories in to set me up well for the run either.
• Run: Felt lousy from the first mile.  Nothing left in the legs after the bike ride and maybe the fatigue of the weekend caught up with me.  The run is usually my favorite part of any triathlon, but I literally willed my way through one mile at a time, managing the negative thoughts screaming in my head, but really not enjoying a minute of it.  Well, OK, I guess the last tenth of a mile after passing mile 13 was pretty fun.  :-)  



A Familiar IM Sight!



Swim Course 

• Overall: Finished a disappointing 7th in my age group, waaaay off the podium and further still from a Vegas slot.  However, the race was well-organized and well-executed start to finish; kudos to the organizers.  I think I could improve on my time if I had another go at it...

My Texas Entourage!  (Erica)

Beat myself up for a day or so about performing so poorly, then let it go.  At the end of the day, it’s not life-and-death, it’s sport and I live to race better another day.  I did learn some lessons about preparation, pacing, persevering and nutrition.

I had a meeting with customers in Beaumont TX on Monday, and was to fly back to CO on Tuesday.  However, due to the big snowstorm back home, flights cancelled so I was delayed getting back til Wednesday night.  Great...one more night in Texas!  Gotta say while I love Austin, not so much a fan of the Houston area.  Ridiculous traffic and not a great vibe there.

So, I'm spinning it as I've gotten the bad race of the season behind me already!  Time to get back to work and shake off this trip and this race.

The great part of the trip was hanging with my girl, Erica!

Cheers, everyone!