Managing the Monkey Mind

On the best of days we enjoy a happy sense of well-being. We perceive our bodies to be strong and healthy, our relationships feel blissful and without conflict, we enjoy our jobs, we are engaged in or looking forward to fun activities and feel connected to people we care about. It’s really not hard keep a good attitude when all is right with your world - even if it’s only the one in your head.  

But then something comes along to mess with your world.  That negative thought pops in, and if it were just in & out, no worries.  But unfortunately, the monkey mind often kicks in - that chatter in your brain that feels out of control and hard to shush - much like monkeys screaming in their cages at the zoo. Pro triathlete Dede Griesbauer spoke during an interview on the 2009 Kona NBC broadcast about the “voices in your head” that taunt you during an Ironman race when you just want to scream “Stop!” to quiet them.  That’s a great example of the Monkey Mind out of control!

I thought it was fascinating when I learned what’s really happening neurologically - and it was really helpful in learning how to manage it, in training, in racing & in life. Here’s a layman’s view of the science as I understand it....

Our thoughts are always creating new or reinforcing existing  “neural networks,” basically an actual physical network of neurons in our brains.  When you see or hear something and it reminds you of a prior experience or emotion, that’s because of a neural network association stored in your brain.  It links to memories, and also to our personal assessments of whether things are good or bad, and the meanings we have assigned to them.  Those meanings might be true, but often aren’t.  That’s why each of us can be exposed to the same experience and come away from it with a whole different view of it...truly we are all living our lives out of our own private heads with our own unique perspectives.

The other thing those neural networks do is set off the release of chemicals in our bodies and brain which bring back those old emotions from the original experience.  As long as you have those chemicals present in your body, you’re going to keep looping that neural network and re-playing what has been programmed in the network in the theater of your head.  The monkey mind keeps on screaming and and strengthening the network with stronger associations in your brain.  You run these thoughts over & over and re-live the experiences, including the meanings you have assigned to them, and the conclusions that you have drawn from them.  Even more importantly, your body can actually get addicted to that  biochemical rush - even if it’s not positive, it’s powerful - and wants to perpetuate. 

Eventually other thoughts will filter in on their own and distract you from the "looping program," and the chemicals will subside,  diminishing the chatter.   Know any Drama Queens?  Addicted to the emotions they feel when creating drama in their lives and create them effortlessly with their automatic thought patterns.

So how to manage the monkey?  Recognizing your habitual patterns, realizing that they are just that, and knowing that you have the ability to change them if you want.  I continue to work on ways to quiet my mind, and find it's equally important to deal with both the more intense situational stress as well as everyday routine stress.  Every time your brain starts to run that old familiar pattern, and you interrupt it by focusing on a more positive thought, you make that old neural network a little weaker, and start to create one that serves you in a more positive way.

I read that it takes about 2 minutes for stress hormones that have been released into your body to dissipate.  When I was feeling panic in open water swimming a couple of years ago, I would tell myself that if I could focus on positive thoughts the sense of fear would be gone in 2 minutes.  Understanding the physiology helped me realize it was possible to start to control it. 

Monkey mind moments are sometimes situational (like freaking out in an open water swim).  Other times, they drift into your head randomly and you find yourself going back to places in your head that you thought you had left behind.  It's good to know that the monkeys can be tamed.  Which brings to mind another country music song!   (Kenny Chesney  “I’m Alive” - Dave Matthews sings along with that sexy voice of his...)  

“So damn easy to say that life’s so hard

Everybody’s got their share of battle scars

As for me I’d like to thank my lucky stars 

That I’m alive and well.

It’d be easy to add up all the pain

And all the dreams you sat & watched go up in flames

Dwell on the wreckage as it smoulders in the rain

But not me I’m alive

And today you know that’s good enough for me

Breathing in & out’s a blessing can’t you see

Today’s the first day of the rest of my life

I’m alive and well

I’m alive and well”

Lessons from Friends

I hoped to put a post together every 2-3 days; oops, I'm already underachieving.  :-) 

The 2010 Baker's Triathlon Team was formally announced this week.  We've pretty much doubled our team size.  Really looking forward to getting to know our new folks - how great is it that we have this technology that we can make new friends nationwide and worldwide?!  Plus a new box of Baker's cookies and; granola arrived this week...yum!


George has me swimming a lot, at least it's a lot more than I'm used to.  I always knew that, in order to improve, I needed to put in more time and distance in the water.  Every once in awhile I'd get a fleeting sense of that elusive "feel for the water" that good swimmers just naturally have.  I heard it defined recently as the positioning & movement dynamic between your body and the water - which is present without you having to monitor it much with conscious thought and adjustment.  It appears that swimming is a highly neuromuscular activity and those improved skills have both a physical and a mental component.  Hmmm.  
Warren and I went out on a 3 & 1/2 hour bike ride today, and though he certainly reined in his usual need to hammer, I felt like I kept up with him a little better.  It rained for the last 2 hours of the ride, but even though I got a little cold, it was much more pleasant than some of the warm & sunny days where the strong wind was ridiculous.  Then ran for 45 minutes after the ride and felt lousy in the first 10 minutes but really good with a decent pace for the rest of it.  So, riding faster apparently leads to running faster afterward.  At least, it did today!


Yesterday I was chatting with Gail, my ubercyclist ex-professional athlete friend,  about her mindset when she's spending hour after hour on the bike training.  With a long bike ride, I'm usually looking for ways to fight boredom and thinking about being bored, often even before I get out the door!  I asked her how she manages that, and she told me that (unlike me), she really focuses on being present in her head on the ride, focusing on the power she feels in her body, how her body is interacting with the bike("become one"), thinking about the upcoming terrain and how she's going to attack it, and just really thinking about how to get the greatest training benefit out of each session.  Wow, that is so NOT what I do, but so what I NEED to do!  So, I left my ipod at home today and focused on the bike and the ride.  At the last minute Warren decided to come along, but he's not that chatty on a ride much of the time, so he didn't distract me.  This is probably one of the reasons Warren is such a good cyclist as he approaches his rides purposefully as well. (Safety note: I justify the safety of using an ipod by using only one earplug and listening only to podcasts, not music - so I stay aware of my surroundings.)  


The other thing that I think is helping me is continuing core strengthening work.  I'm incorporating a lot of the movements from Mark Verstegen's Core Performance/Endurance program, and doing Joe Horvat's "Joega" class at Flatirons Athletic Club.    It seems to be spilling over with the benefit of an overall feeling of a little more power in all three disciplines.  Plus hopefully it will insulate me a little from re-injuring the piriformis/glute/hamstring - last year's sad story.  They say that all movement is driven from the core and the arms and legs just extend that power, so getting strong from shoulders to knees sure seems to make sense. 

Off to bed!  Looking forward to a nice easy run with the girls in the morning!

"Enough So-So for the Rest of my Life"

I wouldn't say I'm a actually fan of Sugarland, but when I heard the lyrics in this song today, I thought yep, that's it.  Since my daughter turned me on to country music I find myself listening to it a lot on Sirius in the car.  Wisdom and great stories and some of those country singer guys are .... hot!  Who knew?

I ain't settling for just getting by
I've had enough "so-so" for the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high
Just enough ain't enough this time
I ain't settling for anything less than everything

This year I've decided it's time to shake things up and step outside of some imaginary boxes and limitations that I've created in my head.  One of those things involves a sport I do for fun, but through it I have met some wonderful people and found a lifestyle that promotes fitness and health. It also continues to teach me important lessons about myself and indeed about life.  Is what I consider to be a boundary indeed a real one - or a self-imposed limitation that just lives in my head?  If "so-so" has become the norm, what would happen if I expected more?  How far outside my comfort zone am I willing to go?


So how did I get to "here?"


I did my first running race in my late twenties, and later progressed to duathlons (called biathlons back in the day), triathlons, and in 2002, the mother of them all, Ironman.  Ironman #6, in Louisville KY, is on the calendar for August 2010.  While I know that just finishing an Ironman race is a huge badge of honor, I also have a sense that my best long-distance potential has not yet been achieved, and I'm really drawn to find out what that is.  


When I was doing multisport races in Georgia, they were mainly run/bike events and I was fortunate enough to see a lot of steady improvement in my performances.  That was fun, but I never quite felt legit until I could say I was a triathlete.  So I forced myself to get into the water...and it didn't go well.


Over the years, I've gone from non-swimmer, to "freaked-out-in-the-open-water" swimmer, to "cautious-but-not-panicked" swimmer, to "I'm-ok-out-here-maybe-I-can-swim-faster" swimmer.  For a very long time it was a matter of putting myself into a mental zone in the open water to carefully control my thoughts so that I didn't get all psycho and lose it out there. OK, a few times I did lose it but was able to talk myself back down from the ledge of panic. (One day I'll tell the story of my miracle in the disastrous swim at the original Ironman Utah in 2002.) I learned a few years ago while working with an NLP practitioner that there was a near-drowning episode in my childhood that was making a lot of noise in my unconscious mind.  Oh! - huge breakthrough in learning to deal with that totally irrational fear that I couldn't explain.  Still have the occasional unsettling moment out there, but I've come a long way, baby. I'm still pretty freakin' slow but I'm a happier slow swimmer and occasionally I'll pass someone in the water now. :-) Oh yeah.

So as I continued in the sport over the years, I was stunned to find myself on the age-group podium every once in awhile, the result of a good enough bike and run to offset a ridiculously slow swim.  And in Georgia where we were living at the time, let's just say it was considerably less competitive than here in Colorado.

I am far from a natural athlete with good genes.  With just a couple of exceptions, my immediate or extended family wasn't prone to much interest in sports participation in my youth.  My brother Rick is a firefighter and stays in shape now but as kids that just wasn't in our family or culture in a small town in North Carolina in the sixties & seventies.  I was into dance and cheerleading in high school and college, but this was prior to Title IX, and believe it or not, tennis was the only sport offered to female athletes when I was in high school.  Didn't even cross my mind that ladies should break a sweat.  Oh, then Jane Fonda said it was ok, so we all bought some leotards and legwarmers and headed off to aerobics class.  Then Olivia Newton-John got "physical" and made it very cool indeed. My athletic persona was born.


Ok, so, while I'm not bringing any athletic gifts to the game here, I focus on things I can control.  On the plus side I can hang tough mentally, I love a challenge and don't quit easily, and I believe that I have not yet seen my best performances.  With renewed passion and drive, I'm off to make this year the best ever. I know this includes working hard, training smart, staying uninjured -as well as mastering the other subtle aspects of competing in triathlon like nutrition and the mental game. 

Can you throw down the gauntlet for yourself?  Done. The journey begins, with the goal of qualifying for the 70.3 Triathlon World Championship in Clearwater, in November 2010.  The picture at the top of the blog was taken from the balcony of the host hotel for last year's race, overlooks the swim course.  My husband Warren competed there last year.  I was incredibly proud of him and he continues to be my inspiration and my hero - and I want to be him when I grow up!  In order to qualify I'll need to finish at the top of my age group in a qualifying 70.3 race.  The good news is that I'm among the younger members of my 55-59 age group, but the bad news is that there is typically only 1 qualifying slot in my age group for each race.  If the number 1 age-group finisher turns down the slot, it rolls down to number 2 in the age group, and so on.  Historically, qualifying slots have rolled down several places, but usually they are snagged by the person in first place.  A healthy dose of luck plays into the equation, too.

So how will this year be different with regard to my life as a triathlete?  

• New coaches...this year I'm working with George and Jane Esahak-Gage of Gage Total Training in Phoenix.  They are our summer neighbors, making the wise decision to do summers in Boulder and winters in AZ.  I want that setup! Besides being amazing athletes themselves, they are among my favorite people!  If you know them, you know what I mean about their warmth and passion and how fun they are.  I'm hoping that their guidance and my perseverance and dedication to the prescribed work will take me to a whole new level.  
• Altered focus on nutrition and optimizing body composition.  That second one is a real challenge for me and I tend to get impatient with the amount of work I put into training and the sacrifices I make in food/drink - with disappointing results in strength and appearance.  Wish I could crack the secret of how to solve this puzzle.  Work in progress!  Any advice?  Please share!
• Team incentive!  Last year I had the privilege of being invited to join the Baker's Triathlon Team, a group of 24 very strong age-group athletes, competing in long distance races across the county(and world).  This year, our Baker's team will be focusing on Ironman races, and will be participating in the Janus Charity Challenge, raising funds for the Boys and Girls Clubs of America.  In the summer of 2009 halfway through my triathlon season, I got injured and had pretty disappointing race results and definitely fell short of my goals.  I also felt like I didn't represent as strongly for the Team as I wanted to or was capable of. But it's a new year with a new age group, and I have set the ambitious goal of finishing in the top 3 of every 70.3 or Ironman race in which I compete this year.   Hey, I said I wanted to step out of the comfort zone, right?  Go big or go home.
• And the primary reason for this blog...community.  The solitary nature of training as an endurance athlete can be isolating unless one makes an effort to connect with others.  That can be true of life in general as well, with the fast pace of life and all the demands on our time and energy. We are all driven to tri for different reasons, and a few of the best are to have fun and stay healthy and hobnob with likeminded folks.  So, to my current friends as well as friends I don't know so well or haven't even met yet - I am looking to all of you out there to come with me on the journey and let me lean on you a bit. Lean on me too!  I want to learn about your story and your journey... we have more in common that we realize. In our global community it's easy to  get too focused on our own path and not look up to engage in this here and now life.   My intention is to reach out and expand my world, take down some barriers and stretch my actual and figurative legs.   

Some days training (and life!) is easy and flows almost effortlessly - other days - not.  We can all use a little love sent our way on the "not" days.  Please feel free to jump in with wisdom, comments, support and comic relief anytime the spirit moves you - journeys are more fun together.

So, come along and let's leave "so-so" far behind.