This past weekend I raced my second sprint triathlon so far on
this “re-set” year, stepping away from long course, seeking a more sane balance
of life, career, family/friends and training.
I’m training a ton less than previous years.
Racing sprints couldn’t be more different than racing
Ironman. I never thought I was suited
for short-course, as I’ve got an endurance engine that can chug along all day
long, but haven’t ever really worked with the goal of going short and fast. Sprint races hurt from the first moment until
you cross the finish line. But on the
plus side, they are over a heckuva lot faster.
My stress level was through the roof waiting to start the
swim on Saturday, as is usually the case when I'm getting ready to jump into an open body of water. My heart is pounding, I keep reminding myself
to breathe. I look around me and see most everyone else chatting and laughing,
but I just want to get this done and can’t seem to relax. Water is 68 degrees, we hear.
Once we got started, I was able to get out of my head and
dispel that nervous energy by just swimming.
The swim was congested and I found myself having to swim around people a
lot, hence the usual zigzag outline of my swim got even more so. I’m in a sleeveless wetsuit and by the time
I’m done swimming, I’m getting cold. My
swim time wasn’t as bad as I expected, 2nd fastest in my age group(clearly
no swimmers in my age group) – I’ve had worse swims – but there were those few times that
I’ve had much better too.
LOOOOONG 300m run up to Transition. Hands cold, breathing very hard, fumbling
miserably to get the wetsuit off. I’m
cold, so I took the time to throw on a light cycling jacket, which I heard flapping
every mile of the ride(ugh!). First
transition time was OVER 4 minutes. Wow.
Decent ride, fastest time in my age group. Nice relatively flat course but I thought it was quite unsafe as we were riding right beside traffic on a highway and often there was NO room to pass other cyclists without going outside the cones. Second transition minutes faster than my
first one that day. So a slight win there.
I do love to run. I
always remind myself of that fact no matter how awkward those first few steps
of a triathlon run feel. After last year’s
injury and training feeling somehow off this year, I’ve lost touch a bit with
that beautiful feeling of running. But once in awhile I’ll have a portion of a
run that flows and feels familiar as something that is a labor of love. Little by little and often when least expected, these moments seem to be
returning.
Finished the race feeling quite depleted as Warren met me at
the finish line, but felt much better 5 minutes later. Second fastest run in my age group, resulting
in age group second place - podium finish. That should
feel satisfying, right?
This morning I read a Facebook post from my friend Eliza
where she expressed disappointment in her race that same day and it made me wonder why I wasn’t happier with my outcome.
Was it because it sure wasn’t pretty?
Was it because “it’s just a sprint distance race,” and since I’ve
defined myself as an Ironman for so long, this should be relatively
effortless? (Believe me, I know better
than that!)
I think it’s a shift in my head that I haven’t fully made
yet, of learning to get better at a totally different game and with new self-imposed life-balance rules. I know I can stay in shape doing
just short distance races, especially if I make time to do that strength work
that tended to fall off the Ironman training week when time got short. Warren and I took the day off training the
day after this race and had a perfectly LOVELY day together going to breakfast,
buying a new refrigerator, getting house and yard work done and enjoying a
glass of wine that evening. Blew off a
day of training in search of life balance - Worth it.
While it feels good to make the podium in a race, and let’s
be honest, it’s definitely self-validation and a shot to one’s ego. My fellow athletes standing with me at the
water’s edge race day were having a lot more fun that I was at that moment and
most were judging themselves a lot less harshly when the day was over.
The desire to excel is an honorable thing but it’s so easy
to let that ego to have a life of its own, in a way that may not reflect who you
feel like you are as a person. I’m more and more grateful every year for a body
that’s healthy and allows me to be an athlete.
I realize that my mind and spirit have expanded with the experiences of
almost 25 years of multisport training and racing. My own challenge is not let my ego and fear
of failure overshadow the good stuff of life, which matters a lot more and to which I'm committed to finding the time to embrace.
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