Burning Man

When I've been telling people for the last few years of my desire to go to Burning Man, it's often led to responses of great surprise, puzzled looks and fear for my safety/sanity.  Why did I want to go?  I've been so curious about all of it - the concept, the art, the people, the music, the vibe and the principles (https://burningman.org/about/10-principles) that guide the community. I’d read that there was nothing like it in the world, and it brought together two things that I value - creativity and connection. After years of trying to score elusive tickets, my son Scotty came through this year with tickets for me and my friend Stephanie. And added bonus…Scotty would be there with a bunch of his Burner friends to help us find our way throughout the week!

And to address the elephant in the room... If you Google Burning Man, you'll no doubt see the outrageous stuff from Burning Man captured on YouTube, and one might assume that it’s all hippies / sex, drugs and rock&roll, right?  OK - yes, there’s some nude people walking around, don’t be shocked.  And yes - recreational drugs are a thing there.  And lots of music! But I’m here to say that the Burning Man experience is in complete control of the person attending.  Do what you want, and don’t do what you don’t want.  It will be exactly what you make it.

And what was it like? Well - first of all, you don’t just show up or go on a whim - there’s a LOT of prior planning involved - starting with being lucky enough to get a ticket.  Everyone there is camping, in a tent, yurt, RV, bus, car, whatever.  We flew into SFO, rented an RV in San Francisco and drove almost 7 hours to Burning Man.  So, just getting there wasn’t easy.  And you must take everything you need like food and water, bikes and all provisions.  You can’t buy things there - money is not used or recognized there - but that’s where gifting comes in - and there’s SO much of that!  For example, on the drive in to Black Rock City, we had stopped to fill up our camper's water reservoir and were going to go ahead and do the recommended task of taping up the windows of our camper to prevent dust coming in.  There was a camper behind us in line and they had already taped their windows. Realizing that we had brought the wrong kind of tape, the guys in the other camper just gave us a roll of their tape. People are very generous sharing food, water, drinks, whatever - and so many acts of kindness. 

And it’s so HOT, and it’s so DUSTY, and it’s noisy and busy 24/7 - so get ready - sleep will be minimal all week. 

BurningMan takes place in a desert-like environment in the middle of nowhere in Nevada, many miles away from civilization. 11 months of the year, it is just a remote, barren, dusty wasteland - thousands of years ago there used to be a huge lake there - now it’s just flat, hot and dust. But a couple of weeks before BurningMan week, an organizing team assembles to build circular-shaped infrastructure of about 1.75 miles, called Black Rock City.  People will camp on the periphery of the circle where you see the lines on the diagram, about 70% of the way around it, but the center as well as the open space around the 30% open periphery is randomly scattered with amazing unique lifesize (and much bigger) art and music.   All this open space is called the Playa. 

But the geographic  and literal focus is on the center of the Playa where a giant “Man” is built.  The Man is unique in design every year. At the end of the BurningMan week, the Man will be burned in a spectacular festival event that all 60,000+ Burners turn out to watch.  We walked through the foundation of the Man our first night there and there was all this beautiful art!  

And for the first time this year the man had a “brain,” and you were invited to write down thoughts to enter into the brain. (I did.)

There’s also a Temple built further out on the Playa every year, a beautiful spiritual-based structure that is created for people to go and find their peace, and remember those who have been lost.  Many leave remembrances or pictures or write messages to/about their loved ones who have passed.  Some people with burdens that they no longer want to carry, leave them in the Temple as a symbolic way to let them go.

The Temple is a powerful and beautiful place to spend time.  It also is burned at the end of the week, providing symbolic closure for whatever was left inside it during the week.

At night the Playa becomes even more magical as everything (the art, the people, the bikes, the Man, the Temple) is illuminated.  It’s beautiful to see.

And what was my experience as a first-time Burner like? Honestly, it was so intense that it’s taken a week or two to process it, but here goes.   

Highlights:

1 - I met so many people and every one of them was so friendly and kind.  So many hugs - and when someone hugged you it struck me how it felt very different and genuine.  Not just a quick social hug as we are all used to, but they really held you. And you felt seen. The environment is such you could walk into any camp and be welcomed. A sharp contrast to the societal feeling of people being politically divided and wary of each other, that’s common today in our country. 

2 - Experiencing the hundreds of pieces of art on the playa - and the art cars…yes moving art! - was a huge highlight. A lot of the art was interactive - you could sit on it, climb up it and on it, slide down it, or in the case of art cars - drive them around!  And it was great fun to play on the art, and in camps around.

I wished I could have known the back stories on more of the art pieces, but I did get a few of them. There was the art that was created from street signs from Ukraine and Russia containing bullet holes from the war. They had been arranged to form the words “I’m Fine.” 

And the huge beautiful animated metal butterfly flapping its wings, while classical music played in the background. A couple of girls who had walked by were actually doing ballet dancing under the butterfly.  Scotty told me he actually met that artist on the Playa. 

And the huge animated human heart that was simulating beating - and if you looked closer you could see that it had hundreds of small houses on its surface. My thoughts were that it was representing the collective beating heart of humanity. 

Then there was this piece - you see here one of 4 animal heads crafted from actual money coins to simulate the color and texture of their fur.

And this piece was made of wood to resemble the head of a dog - the inscription was in Spanish and translated to "I love you, Fat Dog." The artist said " This is my ode to all the loved dogs that us humans treasure, and this shrine is something I hope encapsulates the love, playfulness, and healing nature of canines.

Please come by and write a prayer, a song, a eulogy, a thank you note for your puppy whether living or in another sphere."

In all honesty, my work life mostly centered around the logical technology world, and in years past I'll admit that I have undervalued artists. However in the past few years I’ve done a complete turnaround, feeling massive respect for artistic talent and perspective. I’m even trying to tap into my creative side in a couple of ways these days.

3 - Incredible sunsets and sunrises.  The sun coming and going beyond the mountain  at sunset and sunrise was one of the most spectacular, peaceful and beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

4 - Fun costumes.  Leave your buttoned-up persona at home and be somebody different every day if you want to!

5 - Impromptu concerts popping up everywhere at all hours!  The typical genre of music wasn't one I listen to everyday but I really liked it.  And then there was the morning I was listening to music from a deejay at one of the art cars out on the playa and the next song was a remix but very recognizable rendition of “So Happy Together” from the Turtles 1967 hit.  Music has such power to transform one to another place and time - instantly, I was 12 years old, listening to the AM radio in my room.  57 years ago.  So unexpected and so great!

6 - There were a surprising number of older people there!  Granted, most of the Burners were 20- or 30- or maybe 40- somethings.  But gotta say that I saw a surprising number of older people as well - including considerable grey hair!  And be careful about making a snap judgment about BurningMan people being weirdos.  You might be VERY surprised about the "normal people" who you meet out on the Playa. :-)  I say to my 60-something friends...Want a dose of feeling younger?  Burning Man!

7 - It’s such an extreme physical environment, and overwhelming at first. You have to learn how to mentally manage all the stimulation, stay hydrated, not be in the hot sun too much and manage sleep wisely. The first couple of days, I was learning how to pace the days and nights, but then found myself relaxing into feeling present and peaceful, embracing this special experience. And then, before I knew it, the week was over and I was sad for it to end. 

So, there are theme camps all around - this one served free biscuits and gravy every day.  Yes, please!

8 - Getting everywhere on bikes!  People bring bikes to get around - walking everywhere would take a long time because it’s so spread out. And biking everywhere makes it easy to just stop and check out something that interests you. We could do that in everyday life, too, couldn’t we?  Leave the car at home!

Bikes also have to be outfitted with lights, because it's VERY dark on the Playa at night and if you can't see and be seen - you'll likely get run over or run someone else over.  Here's my Walmart-purchased bike.  You do not want to take a fancy or expensive bike to Burning Man - the Playa dust gets into everything including bike components.

Lights on your body and clothing are also required.  Safety first!

9 - Bottom line, I guess my experience can be summarized as spending a week surrounded by joy and love.  It’s an inclusive, playful, loving place - and indeed a wonderland of human creativity and connection.

 I felt very welcomed and I'm so grateful for the time on the Playa with beautiful humans.  I feel like I experienced maybe 1% of it - it’s that huge with so much that I didn’t get to see.  I miss it already and hope I get the chance to go again. But until then, I hope to channel the love and wonder into greater connection and creativity right here in the real world.

And so much love to my son Scotty Schuckies, who not only made my Burning Man week possible, was also there to share it with me - making it all more special! And love to Andrew, Stephanie and all the crew in Scotty's camp who welcomed us with literal open arms.

Getting my Attention

This week, Rocky Mountain Institute staff were invited to join teams from a few other local organizations whose missions center around environmental issues, for a screening of the new film,  An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power.  My boss had warned me “it’s not an uplifting film,” and he was right.  Still, an important one and I’m glad I saw it.

You may remember Al Gore’s first movie in 2006 on climate change, which I never saw .  Why didn’t I see it?  It was because of one of several reasons that, in my opinion, so many people don’t seem to care much about climate change or environmental issues in general:

1.     They don’t believe the science or feel like the media is just making a big deal over nothing.  (That one's getting harder to justify, IMO)

2.     They acknowledge that the science is valid and the threat probably real but

a.     They are too attached to their comfortable lifestyle

b.     They don’t feel like anything they might do would make a significant difference so why bother?

3.     They hear random bits of information but just really aren’t paying enough attention to fully understand.  (yep, this was me before joining    RMI a year ago - largely oblivious to a lot of  it)

My role on the RMI team is to develop systems to support the important work done by my exceptional colleagues working all around the world.  They are a diverse mix of world-class scientists, engineers and architects, as well as experts in political, social and financial issues. They inspire me every single day with their brilliant minds and deep passion.  As a nonprofit, RMI operates very lean – there’s certainly no one working here for the money – and our support comes primarily from people and organizations who believe in our mission to help create a cleaner, safer and more secure planet Earth.

The current political environment obviously doesn’t value environmental issues and this is a cycle we’ll just have to ride out.  Fortunately though, there are still many companies, cities/states/municipalities, and individuals in the US and the world whose priorities have not changed – here are some of them going public with that pledge  http://wearestillin.com/.  This is reason for hope for humanity.

But here’s my main takeaway on the larger picture, two days later -

Post movie conversation among my colleagues included talk about personal responsibility and personal opportunity for service, and it wasn’t just about climate change issues.  It was about the chance we all have every day to serve our communities and our brothers and sisters, to be kind and positive influences, particularly amidst the various factors generating turmoil these days.  Individuals matter, and together we can do a lot – globally and one-on-one.   In George HW Bush’s terminology, “A thousand points of light.”  In Mother Teresa’s words, “Small things with great love.”

Climate change doesn’t inspire you?  That’s ok.  Listen the voice from your unique soul and go out and make a small difference in the world, with whatever it is that does make you feel alive and happy.  Chances are, you can make someone else feel that way too - setting off that beautiful butterfly effect.

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Return to Lake to Lake Triathlon

This past weekend I raced my second sprint triathlon so far on this “re-set” year, stepping away from long course, seeking a more sane balance of life, career, family/friends and training.  I’m training a ton less than previous years.

Racing sprints couldn’t be more different than racing Ironman.  I never thought I was suited for short-course, as I’ve got an endurance engine that can chug along all day long, but haven’t ever really worked with the goal of going short and fast.  Sprint races hurt from the first moment until you cross the finish line.  But on the plus side, they are over a heckuva lot faster.

My stress level was through the roof waiting to start the swim on Saturday, as is usually the case when I'm getting ready to jump into an open body of water.  My heart is pounding, I keep reminding myself to breathe. I look around me and see most everyone else chatting and laughing, but I just want to get this done and can’t seem to relax.  Water is 68 degrees, we hear.

Once we got started, I was able to get out of my head and dispel that nervous energy by just swimming.  The swim was congested and I found myself having to swim around people a lot, hence the usual zigzag outline of my swim got even more so.  I’m in a sleeveless wetsuit and by the time I’m done swimming, I’m getting cold.  My swim time wasn’t as bad as I expected, 2^nd fastest in my age group(clearly no swimmers in my age group) – I’ve had worse  swims – but there were those few times that I’ve had much better too. 

LOOOOONG 300m run up to Transition.  Hands cold, breathing very hard, fumbling miserably to get the wetsuit off.  I’m cold, so I took the time to throw on a light cycling jacket, which I heard flapping every mile of the ride(ugh!).  First transition time was OVER 4 minutes.  Wow.

Decent ride, fastest time in my age group.  Nice relatively flat course but I thought it was quite unsafe as we were riding right beside traffic on a highway and often there was NO room to pass other cyclists without going outside the cones.  Second transition minutes faster than my first one that day. So a slight win there.

I do love to run.  I always remind myself of that fact no matter how awkward those first few steps of a triathlon run feel.  After last year’s injury and training feeling somehow off this year, I’ve lost touch a bit with that beautiful feeling of running.   But once in awhile I’ll have a portion of a run that flows and feels familiar as something that is a labor of love.   Little by little and often when least expected, these moments seem to be returning.

Finished the race feeling quite depleted as Warren met me at the finish line, but felt much better 5 minutes later.  Second fastest run in my age group, resulting in age group second place - podium finish.  That should feel satisfying, right?

This morning I read a Facebook post from my friend Eliza where she expressed disappointment in her race that same day and it made me wonder why I wasn’t happier with my outcome.  Was it because it sure wasn’t pretty?  Was it because “it’s just a sprint distance race,” and since I’ve defined myself as an Ironman for so long, this should be relatively effortless?  (Believe me, I know better than that!)

I think it’s a shift in my head that I haven’t fully made yet, of learning to get better at a totally different game and with new self-imposed life-balance rules.  I know I can stay in shape doing just short distance races, especially if I make time to do that strength work that tended to fall off the Ironman training week when time got short.  Warren and I took the day off training the day after this race and had a perfectly LOVELY day together going to breakfast, buying a new refrigerator, getting house and yard work done and enjoying a glass of wine that evening.  Blew off a day of training in search of life balance - Worth it.

While it feels good to make the podium in a race, and let’s be honest, it’s definitely self-validation and a shot to one’s ego.  My fellow athletes standing with me at the water’s edge race day were having a lot more fun that I was at that moment and most were judging themselves a lot less harshly when the day was over. 

The desire to excel is an honorable thing but it’s so easy to let that ego to have a life of its own, in a way that may not reflect who you feel like you are as a person. I’m more and more grateful every year for a body that’s healthy and allows me to be an athlete.  I realize that my mind and spirit have expanded with the experiences of almost 25 years of multisport training and racing.  My own challenge is not let my ego and fear of failure overshadow the good stuff of life, which matters a lot more and to which I'm committed to finding the time to embrace.

Today I celebrate 60 years on this earth.  I graduated a year early in high school, so most all my childhood friends crossed this portal before me, but here I am! What an amazing journey this life continues to be, and I’m learning some great lessons along the way.  I thought I’d write some of them down as I reflect sitting here in the sunshine on January 1 by the ocean in Mexico.  And thank you, my dearest Warren, for making this birthday extra special with this trip!

In my experience, when you reach a certain age, you have to keep reminding yourself that you aren’t that young anymore - because it doesn’t seem possible that you are the age that your parents and grandparents were when you thought they were ancient.  I think it’s totally true that how you feel about your life and your perspective on the world is infinitely more important than the number of birthdays you’ve survived.  

• Pay attention to what’s around you, because most of us are sleepwalking through life.  (Technology and being online 24/7 unfortunately makes this worse).  Look people in the eye and be present to really see and hear their words and their thoughts. And, chances are pretty good that everything you need or want is already in your world.  You just need to get to the place in your heart and your head and your awareness, where you have the ability to actually see it.   

• Everyone has a story about their life that will break your heart, even those who seem to have it all, or who appear to just be mean - that didn’t come from nowhere. We all carry emotional wounds that may be buried deep inside - they make us who we are and make us behave in our habitual ways.  So we should all be just a little more kind and compassionate toward each other - as well as look inward and try to sort through things that are holding us back.

• We spend most of our time bouncing back and forth in our head between reliving the past or worrying about the future.  Stay right here and now - it’s the only place that’s real, anyway.

• Little things are little things.  Let them be that, and let them go.  As a matter of fact, most things are little things. 

• Sometimes the best thing you can do is to stop and just breathe.  So simple and re-sets your whole body.

• Find the thing in your life that lights you up when you think about doing it - and you will be great at it.

• People tend to show you who they are by their actions more than their words.  Pay attention to that - it’s a great indicator of future actions as well.

• People you care about will disappoint you in ways big and small - count on it.  It is what it is, and though it’s so hard NOT to take it personally, it just shows you a little more about who they are as a person.  It serves you to forgive them, because you carrying that anger and resentment is like re-living the hurtful event so they continue to hurt you again and again.  Even if the person at fault never shows remorse, you can still choose to let it go and move on.  Very liberating if you can do it, otherwise it can hinder you emotionally for your whole life if you let it.  

• You can fake most anything, but the real you is so much better.  Don’t be afraid to really show up and let yourself be seen.  You are unique….shine with that light that is yours and yours alone.

• Look at the things that scare or intimidate you and ask yourself if they are real threats or just noise in your head.  If you can get control of that noise, you can adopt a whole new mindset of possibility.

• If there’s something you feel in your heart you are here to do - go after it 100% and don’t let anyone talk you out of it.  Listen to your small voice inside that keeps nudging you on.

• Hindsight is a great lens.  So many times I’ve been bummed out about something big or small - and looked back later and saw how it was a bridge to something better, or a lesson I needed to learn to grow.

• Gratitude is a mindset worth cultivating.  Everyone has something to be grateful for.  Find some of those things and soon you’ll be finding more.

• We are all connected on the most basic level.  We all carry the essence of God, and both pain and joy of mankind as a whole can be felt universally.  You can’t hurt or lift up someone else without that action having the same affect on you.

• Happiness is a choice.  In the world in which most of us live, we are blessed with food, shelter and a safe environment - yet Americans are generally not as happy as so many in the world that have far less.  Our default behavior is to obsess over what we think is missing in our lives or constant comparison of ourselves to others.  I’ve been guilty of this, but it takes much less to make me happy these days, and making the choice to be happy has changed my life in a profound way. 

• My children are amazing human beings and I’m deeply proud of them both.  It’s very cool to watch as they evolve as adults.  Their personalities are quite different, yet alike in so many ways.  I look forward to the day I get to be their childrens’ grandma.  :-)   I’m so grateful as well for the rest of my family - my mom and my brothers and their families - and Warren’s dad and sister and our nieces - and all my extended family as well.  We people from the South get stereotyped a lot, but I couldn’t be more proud of where I come from.  My friends and family down there are what we call “good people,”  and while I differ from them ideologically in many ways, there are still deep roots that will be there forever. 

• It’s way too easy to fill up one’s time and get so busy, failing to make enough time for friends, fun and spontaneity.  Between Ironman training and work and other things I’ve taken on along the way, I’ve fallen into this trap for years.  I’m done making that choice and resolve to prioritize differently going forward.

• I recognized Warren as the love of my life pretty quickly after we met - which was by accident and the circumstances pointed toward fate.  After spending 32 years with him, I’m more in love with this special man than ever.  Marriage isn’t ever going to be perfect all the time - it’s often difficult and of course we’ve had our challenges - who hasn’t?  But he still makes me laugh every day. What else makes the relationship so special?…a strong friendship, mutual respect, faith in and support for each other and in our family.  It’s what grounds me and from where I draw much of my strength.

• I’ve chosen to be a triathlete and have pursued it somewhat obsessively over the past 20 or so years.  Coming from a totally non-athletic background, it taught me a lot about what I was capable of; about believing in myself; about my potential as a physical being and about mental toughness.  Of course at the end of the day, it’s just recreation at my level - but I would highly encourage anyone to find something that will challenge you enough to nudge you out of that comfort zone.  You are probably stronger than you think, mentally and physically - and experiencing personal breakthroughs is incredibly empowering and life-affirming.  I still enjoy the process of training and competing - and now learning how to be a better masters athlete.

• I once heard someone describe his life goal in this way, and it really resonated with me as a guiding principle… “To be a beneficial presence on the planet.”  Such remarkable opportunities to serve have come my way and it’s a huge blessing and privilege to continue this work in whatever form it takes in the future.  My contributions have been modest so far, but as Mother Teresa said, “not all of us can do great things, but we can all do small things with great love.”